Two Kinds of Friends
- A simple friend stands by you when you are right. A real friend stands
by you even when you are wrong.
- A simple friend identifies himself when he calls. A real friend doesn't
- A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on
his life. A real friend says, "What's new with you?"
- A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent. A
real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for
14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
- A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders
soggy from your tears.
- A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend
has their phone numbers in his address book.
- A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend
comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
- A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
- A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real
friend seeks to help you with your problems.
- A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend
could blackmail you with it.
- A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend
opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
- A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had
- A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend
expects to always be there for you.
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