Seeing Life Through the Eyes of Kids
Ideas and Lifestyle Concepts
Some humor from a surprisingly visionary
group. These are from an actual newspaper contest where entrants age
4 to 15 were asked to imitate
"Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."
- I
believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is
why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to
wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15
- Give
me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the
things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13
- It
sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday,
like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of
people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just
for the long weekends. --Age 8
- For
centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then
the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's
what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6
- My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him
we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess
I should have told him the truth -- that most of us go to hell and
burn eternally -- but I didn't want to upset him. -- Age 10
- I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself,
at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine
they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate
over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human
condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come
the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution.
I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements
and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and
strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night
lighting farts. -- Age15
- I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog.
Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all
of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor.
-- Age 14
- As
you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a
few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple
of days saved up. -- Age 7
-
Often,
when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That
is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15
- It
would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident.
No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood
would be right there. -- Age 5
- Once,
I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet.
So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them,
right? -- Age 15
- If
we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world
peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until
the looting started. -- Age 15
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