Relationships
Article: Love

Being in Love
(© Ilana Goldman)

When we are dealing with others, there are two essential things to keep in mind:

1) They are as free as we are to choose their desires and beliefs (you can't create in their experience).

2) No one can stand between us and our desires except for our own vibration.

So, lets assume that we are in love. When we envision our beloved returning our love from our joy, we exert great influence on them in that direction - but we can't control them. They are free to hold different intentions and choose to go elsewhere. Our power is that we can attract to ourselves those who are a match to our core desires including that they return our love.

This may be a little hard to digest - it sounds as if it doesn't matter who our lover is - and in a way that is true.  As long as they are a match to our desires they are a match to our desires.  Thinking along this line is not a matter of disrespecting the uniqueness of each individual - it is a matter of respecting individual freedom and knowing that our well being is totally under own control - which enables us to attract without resistance, inspire the other powerfully in the direction of our desire, and have a relationship based on allowing in which both sides can thrive.

When we say to a person - my happiness depends on your loving me - it may sound very romantic but in essence it is a disempowering statement regarding who we are and it put the pressure on the other to choose what we want in order to keep us happy.

So, what can we do when we fall in love? - focus on what we are flowing rather than on what is flowing toward us. The joyful feeling comes from love flowing through us without resistance - and it does not matter in which direction it flows. We can allow others to choose where they flow their love. If they happen to choose to flow it in our direction, then we get the double benefit of love flowing through us both ways which is delicious indeed.

Imagine the emotion meter. In our love life, like in everything else, we want to stay in the positive range - moving between greater and lesser joy. We dip into the negative range for a few seconds when we observe contrast, and as soon as we notice it we deliberately get ourselves into the positive again.

Essentially we say to our beloved (vibrationally or verbally - it doesn't matter):  I am joyful now in my loving of you - your choice of loving me can add to my joy but not detract from it - we are both free.