Breaking the Habits That Limit Your Success
Copyright 2012 Carol James, Founder of InspiredLiving.com
I find that there is little difference between creating money, self-love,
rewarding relationships, fulfilling work or any other thing I can imagine.
The key is not in what I want, rather in how I feel about what I want.
Things that come easily and quickly to me are things that I dont resist
or feel anxious about how or when I will have them. I allow them to enter
my experience in their own way and in their own time.
No matter what I desire to create, the path is always the same: Resonate
with having and I get it; resonate with not having and I don't get it
(at least not in the way I wanted or expected it). When I catch myself
feeling or thinking any of the following, it's a good bet that I am resonating
with not having:
- Feeling anxious.
- Feeling nervous.
- Worrying of any kind.
- Fretting over details.
- Doubting that I deserve it.
- Wondering when it will come.
- Wondering IF it will come.
- Fearing that it won't come on time.
- Fearing that it won't come at all.
- Fearing what will happen if it doesn't come.
- Freaking out about the consequences of not having it.
- Feeling panicky, depressed or fearful.
- Feeling tired, exhausted or frustrated.
What do I do when I find myself caught in any of these negative habits
of thought? Here are 7 ways that I use to transform the situation:
- Dont beat myself up. I remind myself that negative chatter is merely
an old, worn out habit that just needs to be transformed. No big deal.
I've transformed other undesirable habits in my life and this is no
different. If I feel bad about myself, I just add to the negative chatter.
- Catch myself in the act. If I can catch myself thinking negatively
while I am having those thoughts and change my thoughts to more empowering
ones, then all the better because that stops the negative chatter in
its tracks. Of course, having a strong desire to be more optimistic
and lots of persistence makes the shift easier.
- Find a replacement habit. If I don't want to think negatively, what
do I want? Most likely, to think positively, so that's an easy place
to start. I create an Appreciation Journal, writing about everything
I appreciate, exciting miracles that happened and things that have
touched my heart. Anytime I catch myself thinking negatively, I whip
out my Appreciation Journal and reread the entries I've made. That
pivots my thoughts quickly and easily. And while I'm at it, I add a
few new entries to my journal. Of course, any other replacement habit
will do as long as it promotes health and well-being.
- Shift my perspective. I know that thinking about what I don't want
is powerless to give me what I do want, so it is important to shift
my thoughts toward what I want. That means using language that accurately
describes what I want. For instance, there is a huge difference between
dont want to be sick anymore." and saying "I want to be healthy." The
former focuses on sickness while the latter focuses on health.
- Take time to identify the deeper need lying behind the thoughts. For instance, my negative thinking often carries a deeper fear of feeling
unlovable or not being good enough or afraid of being rejected for
making a mistake, so I ask myself why I believe thats true. For example,
if I catch myself feeling that I am not good enough, I ask myself, "Why
not? What evidence have I gathered to prove that I am not good enough?
And does everyone in the entire world think I am not good enough? And
so what if I am not good enough to please SOME people? Who cares about
what those people think anyway because if they are so judgmental and
critical, I don't want them in my life anyway. Have I ever been good
enough? And who said I was? And what does it really mean to be good
enough? Good enough for what? What am I prevented from doing or being
if I am considered not good enough? And who started this distorted
and fearful game of accusing people of not being good enough? And how
must I change my way of looking at myself and others to reverse this
habit? How do people who feel they are good enough think, feel, speak
and behave? What values and ideas do they believe in? What would it
take for me to feel like I was good enough?"
- Be determined and persistent. Breaking any undesirable habit requires
that I be diligent in catching myself in action doing the undesirable
behavior (putting myself down) and replacing that old habit with a
new habit (appreciating all that I have and am). I build up my determination
by creating a list of reasons why I want to transform the undesirable
habit, listing everything I will gain and the benefits I will receive,
and I use that list in moments of weakness when the old habit is tempting
- Lighten up. This is no big deal. So what if I found a bad habit in
my repertoire of behaviors? Isn't it great that I've found it and can
now transform it? I sure am glad that I didn't have to live with the
habit for another 5 or more years. Plus I've revealed and transformed
another layer of distorted beliefs that have been clogging up my happiness.
Besides, it feels great each time I catch myself in an old pattern
because I know that each discovery brings me closer to revealing and
expressing my full potential. After all, that's what life is all about,
The goods news is that by breaking the habits that limit my success,
the easier and easier it gets to achieve all my dreams.
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